Monday, February 28, 2011

32 AND 1 TO GROW ON

Last week I had a BLAST reading blogs from my friends Rachel and Megan in which they did random facts about themselves. So for my blog today I decided to do the same. Imitation is the highest form of flattery they say. Thanks ladies for the fun idea!

I decided to do 32 facts with one extra since I am turning 33 this summer!

1. I don't have a favorite color. I like colors so much I could never narrow it down to just one.

2. Both pregnancies, I wanted boys. Now that I have them and there is so much testosterone in this house maybe my dream of adopting a little girl will come true SOMEDAY.

3. Fish & Seafood = YUCK!

4. That being said, I LOVE Maine, home of seafood and lobster.

5. Ogunquit and Kennebunkport Maine are AMAZING and I dream of living there.


6. If not for my parents, I already would! I just can't leave my parents!

7. I LOVE to sing and did so often in church growing up. I even sang in my little brother's wedding last year.

8. My little brother was my best friend for 31 years.

9. He hasn't spoken to me in nearly a year.

10. I miss him. A LOT.


11. I always wanted to live in a studio apartment in New York City for a year.

12. Before I could plan such arrangements, I met Joe.

13. We worked together on 3rd shift at Jewish Hospital Medical Center East. I was an
ER Registrar and he was a security guard.

14. I COULD NOT STAND Joe when I first met him.

15. Nine months later we moved in together. Two years later we were married. My how my opinion of him changed. We've been together a total of 8 years now.

16. He totally surprised me and bought me a piano as a wedding gift. It was in our apartment when we came home from our rehearsal dinner. I bawled my eyes out.


17. I played piano for nearly 8 years. I hope to start back up soon.

18. I am a Gleek and a Twihard. Is there a name for that?

19. Two months ago today I had plastic surgery and I am PROUD of it!

20. When I am alone in the car I sing at the top of my lungs and move to the music. This probably looks foolish to other drivers. I don't care. I feel free.

21. I can't burp, whistle or snap my fingers. Is this some disorder or something? I feel flawed. LOL

22. Cotton gives me the willies. Please never ask me to get you a cotton ball out of a bag! I beg you!


23. Clowns terrify me. Please don't ever dress as a clown to scare me. I will harm you totally unintentionally.

24. Another word of advice, I also freak out when tickled and you could get harmed unintentionally then as well. Consider yourself warned.

25. There is a small birthmark on my upper leg that is shaped like Mickey Mouse. I couldn't make this stuff up!


26. Reality TV is my secret obsession. I can't get enough. Sad but true.

27. I have crushes on many a white-haired celebrity such as Richard Gere, Anderson Cooper and Dr. Drew. Are any of you psychology majors that can tell me what this means? You know I had to post a pic of each...eye candy anyone? :-)




28. I wish I could travel the world. It seems such a waste to never see this wonderful world GOD created. I long to see it all and take it all in. Maybe one day.

29. Housework overwhelms me. I DESPISE IT! Right now I have dishes piled up on the counter and in both sinks. Laundry piled up on the table. There are toys and mess EVERYWHERE. I am not even exaggerating. As soon as I finish this blog I MUST GET TO WORK.


30. I was run over by a sled freshman year. YES, you read that correctly. I was full fledged run over by a snow sled, with an adult and child on board, that was pushed down a HUGE hill on a street by 3 grown men. This thing was in attack mode when it hit me. I have pics and a scar from stitches on my lip to prove it. And yes when we came back to school everyone was singing "Krystal Got Run Over By A Snow sled" to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". Humiliating maybe?


31. I don't like to eat veggies. But I'm a grown up now so you can't make me!

32. I drove an adorable Ford Escort in high school. In certain sun light or street lights it would look either hot pink, red or purple. It was like those hypercolor shirts back in the day. Yeah you know you remember those. Anyway, I LOVED that car! I named her Hooker. Get it? Hooker.....Escort....I crack myself up!

33. Lastly, I believe that Justin Bieber is just one more sign of the coming apocalypse.


HAPPY MONDAY LOVES!



DAY 3

LOVE IS NOT SELFISH


Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10


We live in a world that is enamored with “self.” The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. The danger from this kind of thinking, however, becomes painfully apparent once inside a marriage relationship.

If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness. Unfortunately it is something that is ingrained into every person from birth. You can see it in the way young children act, and often in the way adults mistreat one another. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves. Yet you cannot point out the many ways your spouse is selfish without admitting that you can be selfish too. That would be hypocritical.

Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? The answer is a painful pill to swallow. We are all selfish.

When a husband puts his interests, desires, and priorities in front of his wife, that’s a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that’s a sign of selfishness. But love “does not seek its own” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Loving couples—the ones who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage—are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share life with. That’s because true love looks for ways to say “yes.”

One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward. If you do even a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your husband or wife, you are still being selfish. The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself.

Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others. You can’t be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say “no” to what you want so you can say “yes” to what they need. That’s putting the happiness of your partner above your own. It doesn’t mean you can never experience happiness, but you don’t negate the happiness of your spouse so you can enjoy it yourself.

Love also leads to inner joy. When you prioritize the well-being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions. This is a benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love. The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.

Nobody knows you as well as your spouse. And that means no one will be quicker to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants and wishes to make sure his or her needs are met.

If you find it hard to sacrifice your own desires to benefit your spouse, then you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you want to admit.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I truly want what’s best for my husband or wife?
• Do I want them to feel loved by me?
• Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?
• Do they see me as looking out for myself first?

Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse. But is it a loving reputation? Remember, your marriage partner also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. So determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them, with your eyes wide open. And when all is said and done, you’ll both be more fulfilled.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

TODAY'S DARE

WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND MONEY INTO WILL BECOME MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU. IT'S HARD TO CARE FOR SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT INVESTING IN. ALONG WITH RESTRAINING FROM NEGATIVE COMMENTS, BUY YOUR SPOUSE SOMETHING THAT SAYS, "I WAS THINK OF YOU TODAY."

(In your Love Dare Journal or a notebook) What did you choose to give your spouse? What happened when you gave it?

Where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder. James 3:16

HOW IS YOUR LOVE DARE GOING? DO YOU SEE IMPROVEMENTS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? I KNOW I SURE DO!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

DATE DAY












Joe and I had our date day today.

This past Thursday marked the year date of Joe loosing his mother. Since Joe was deployed so soon afterwards, we made it a special point to visit Joyce's grave site today when we went to Louisville. It was sprinkling we when arrived but stopped the second we got out of the car to go to the grave. The moment we were back in the car to leave, the heavens opened and it POURED! Thanks "Mom" for keeping us dry long enough to share a visit with you. We love you and you are very missed!


We used our gift card from Christmas to O'Charley's for an early dinner. We got to take our time and eat and talk and laugh without interruption. Well almost without interruption. We had the LOUDEST waiter EVER. And it would seem that every time we go out for our date day we get seated by someone with a noisy kid. Go figure! Even so we had a great dinner. The food was sooo wonderful. We devoured the appetizer sampler in a matter of minutes! Potato skins, chicken tenders and fried pepper jack cheese....YUM! Our dinner was just as yummy.


After we finished dinner we headed to check out a book sale and naturally I was in my happy place. A quiet bookstore that was having a HUGE sale. That's my element!

After sometime of browsing books on sale I found my treasure on sale for under 7 dollars. I so love a bargain! Now I just need more quiet time to read it!


My wonderful hubby once again surprised me with a trip to Starbucks for another caramel latte. That makes 2 days in a row. I could truly get used to that. Needless to say I am over the moon about getting a Starbucks in the new Kroger! I'm slightly addicted. Funny thing is that I NEVER drank ANY coffee products until Joe came home from Iraq and I tried a Caramel Brulee Latte with him and ever since I have been seriously addicted to them! Is there a SA (Starbucks Anonymous). If so, sign me up! They say the first step is admitting there is a problem...I admit, I can't resist Starbucks. To prove my point, I called a Starbucks store to see if they were open on Thanksgiving so that on the way to Joe's sister's for Thanksgiving dinner I could pick up a Starbucks! Now that is addiction to the fullest!


Next, it was on to browse the aisles of Blue Light Specials at the local Kmart store.

I must admit....there are some dang good finds if you really look! I can't wait to go back. I fell in love with a Bistro set and I am determined to get it for my deck! It was total love at first sight! Oh and did I mention that Kmart does Lay-A-Way??!! Cue the Hallelujah chorus!

I can just picture Joe and I sitting at this bistro table every morning with our Starbucks (did I mention I have a slight addiction to Starbucks Caramel Lattes?) and watching our boys play in the backyard. I MUST have it!!!

We drove home in a thunderstorm. How grand it was to be in the midst of a thunderstorm. I LOVE thunderstorms. They are so calming and majestic. GOD creates such amazing wonders. I am hoping beyond hope that these thunderstorms are a sign that spring has sprung!


We arrived to pick up the boys and they were so excited to see us and tell us about all the fun they had with NaNa and PawPaw. They were worn out and it wasn't hard to get them to bed tonight. They even went by 8pm! Joe and I have continued out date day watching The Patriot on TV and sharing Hershey Kisses.

I am thankful for this day. It was so relaxing! I feel recharged and ready to face the week head on!


HAPPY END OF THE WEEKEND EVERYONE! HOPE IT WAS ENJOYABLE FOR ALL!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Cleaning and Headache and Starbucks OH MY!



Today was a so/so day. I woke up sore with a dull headache. Joe and I decided to clean out our shed in the backyard today instead of wasting a pretty day later on. We were able to throw out a bunch of junk. If anyone wants a pretty nice papasan chair it's by the road in my front yard...feel free to come pick it up! We won't mind...really...we won't! We also came across some really cool things that we stored in rubbermaid containers that hadn't been opened in 3 years. The diary I kept from the weekend we spent in Brown County when we got engaged. Photo scrapbooks from various moments in life. Some of those really took me back. Old trophies and medals from sports we played. Keepsakes that belonged to my MeMe that brought both sad and happy tears. The keepsake books the nurses made Landon and Andrew during their 2 month stay in the NICU at Kosair's Children's Hosptial when they were born. PREEMIE clothes the boys wore while in the NICU. These clothes are so small...we are talking a little bigger than Barbie...HONESTLY! They even have to be hand made because doll clothes are too big for preemies. See for yourself! I'll be doing a blog on my experience having premature twins soon.

LANDON Under 3 pounds @ 1 week old.
ANDREW Under 3 pounds @ 1 week old.

Those little wraps/snugglies you see the boys in, we found those today too! Hard to believe my baby boys were so tiny and fragile when they were born. Oh how far they have come...they are fighters....they are survivors...they are my heart!

Afterwards we put the kids down for naps and then my headache began. UGH! I even slept through the 1st have of the UK game. At least I watched the second half and saw us win, even if I did have pillows all around my head to block out as much light as possible! LOL Congrats Coach Cal on your 500th win! Now guys just learn to win on the road and we're set!



This evening my parents stopped by with some meds for my headache. Thanks daddy you rock!!! Landon and Andrew both were in tears after NaNa and PawPaw left...they wanted them to stay here with us and play!


My wonderful hubby loaded us all up in the van tonight and we headed to Middletown at 8:30pm. WHY you wonder.....for this.....

I must say...my baby knows what makes me feel better! It was also great to get out of the house and take and ride and sing along to the radio with my boys. Caden singing USHER. Landon singing BLACK AND YELLOW chorus. LOL Good times!

We got home and put our boys to bed, by now it was nearly 10pm. They were all 3 out like a light. I feel punny but LOVED my caramel latte! Gonna snuggle up with my baby and watch movies. I introduced Joe to Bridget Jones last night...he loved her almost as much as I do. Probably because she is so much like me, or vise versa. I totally relate to her...not great at public speaking, obsessive over her weight and image, granny panties vs. thongs, crazy fun friends, awkward, babbbling, ect ect ect. She even finds her "true love" whom she at first can't tolerate (As I did with Joe) and then realizes she loves him and he loves her "just the way she is". Again...just like Joe and myself. However I will keep it to myself who my "Daniel Cleaver would be....somethings are better left unsaid! Bridget is just amazing and I love her and at times see quite a bit of myself in her which is actually pretty comforting. Power to us "thick" girls! Thanks Bridget for showing how fun, sexy and unique we are! Although I am happy to report I am not a smoker or obsessive wine drinker! LOL Now that I think about it, I think I have these PJ's from the clip I posted. WOW...most days I even look like this by the time Joe gets home and that is WITHOUT WINE! Such is my life! LOVE IT!


I hope all you dear friends and followers of my blog are enjoying your weekend. I am very much looking forward to "date day" with my hubby tomorrow! It's been a long time! We are going out to eat and to visit the cemetary for the first time since Joe's mother passed last year. If the weather is nice we may go hang out at the Water Front. We'll see how the days goes. Nothing like being spontaneous!

Friday, February 25, 2011


FIVE FAVORITES THIS FRIDAY







1. AMERICAN IDOL TOP 24! I was pleased to see that ALL my favorites made it into the TOP 24!

American Idol 2011 Top 12 Guys:
*Brett Lowenstern - MY FAV since his audition!!
*Jovany Barreto
*Jacob Lusk - Amazing Talent who became a fav in Hollywood!
*Paul McDonald
*Clint Jun Gamboa
*Robbie Rosen - Another fav from auditions!
*Stefano Langone
*Jordan Dorsey
*Tim Halprin - Another early fav!
*James Durbin
*Casey Abrams - AMAZING MUSICAL TALENT!! Loved him since auditions!
*Scotty McCreery - He sounds JUST LIKE Josh Turner! CRAZY!

American Idol 2011 Top 12 Girls:
*Naima Adedap
*Julie Zorilla - LOVE HER! Reminds me of Lea Michelle (Rachel) from Glee!!!
*Karen Rodriguez - Loved her since auditions
*Lauren Turner
*Kendra Chantelle
*Ashton Jones
*Rachel Zevita - Have like her in previous seasons-SO GLAD she made it!
*Haley Reinhart
*Thia Magia - Loved her since auditions-15 years old and is AMAZING!
*Lauren Alaina Suddeth - AMAZING TALENT also 15! Loved her since audition!
*Pia Toscano
*Ta-Tynisa Wilson

I've watched Idol every season and this is the absolute MOST talent EVER in the top 24! Loving it AND the new judges!

2. My Husband! I have had a TERRIBLE week and he has kept me grounded and helped me to refocus and regroup. He's been so amazing to me this week! (Thanks baby I love you and can't imagine my life without you!) HE IS MY BEST FRIEND!


3. IT'S PAYDAY!!!


4. Getting Back Into Church As A Family!!


5. The Valentine's Date Night With My Hubby Is Being Rescheduled! Our last date night was cancelled because my dad went into the hospital and I got sick. I am in much need of some time alone with my hubby where we can actually sit at dinner and TALK! We haven' decided what else we are going to do yet. Thanks mom and dad for keeping the boys!


I am so loving my life and those in it! They are there for a reason and those who aren't...well I've come to learn there is a reason for that too even if I don't know exactly what that reason is at this time. I trust GOD knows and that is all that matters! God Bless you Friends and have a WONDERFUL weekend! XOXO



DAY 2

LOVE IS KIND


Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. - Ephesians 4:32

Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing. One is preventive, the other proactive. These two sides of love are the cornerstones on which many of the other attributes we will discuss are built.

Love makes you kind. And kindness makes you likeable. When you’re kind, people want to be around you. They see you as being good to them and good for them.

The Bible keys in on the importance of kindness: “Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man” (Proverbs 3:3–4). Kind people simply find favor wherever they go. Even at home. But “kindness” can feel a little generic when you try defining it, much less living it. So let’s break kindness down into four basic core ingredients:

Gentleness. When you’re operating from kindness, you’re careful how you treat your spouse, never being unnecessarily harsh. You’re sensitive. Tender. Even if you need to say hard things, you’ll bend over backwards to make your rebuke or challenge as easy to hear as possible. You speak the truth in love.

Helpfulness. Being kind means you meet the needs of the moment. If it’s housework, you get busy. A listening ear? You give it. Kindness graces a wife with the ability to serve her husband without worrying about her rights. Kindness makes a husband curious to discover what his wife needs, then motivates him to be the one who steps up and ensures those needs are met—even if his are put on hold.

Willingness. Kindness inspires you to be agreeable. Instead of being obstinate, reluctant, or stubborn, you cooperate, you stay flexible. Rather than complaining and making excuses, you look for reasons to compromise and accommodate. A kind husband ends thousands of potential arguments by his willingness to listen first rather than demand his way.

Initiative. Kindness thinks ahead, then takes the first step. It doesn’t sit around waiting to be prompted or coerced before getting off the couch. The kind husband or wife will be the one who greets first, smiles first, serves first, and forgives first. They don’t require the other to get his or her act together before showing love. When acting from kindness, you see the need, then make your move. First.

Jesus creatively described the kindness of love in His parable of the Good Samaritan, found in the Bible—Luke, chapter 10. A Jewish man attacked by robbers is left for dead on a remote road. Two religious leaders, respected among their people, walk by without choosing to stop. Too busy. Too important. Too fond of clean hands. But a common man of another race—the hated Samaritans, whose dislike for the Jews was both bitter and mutual—sees this stranger in need and is moved with compassion. Crossing all cultural boundaries and risking ridicule, he stops to help the man. Bandaging his wounds and putting him on his own donkey, he carries him to safety and pays all his medical expenses out of his own pocket.

Where years of racism had caused strife and division, one act of kindness brought two enemies together. Gently. Helpfully. Willingly. Taking the initiative, this man demonstrated true kindness in every way.

Wasn’t kindness one of the key things that drew you and your spouse together in the first place? When you married, weren’t you expecting to enjoy his or her kindness for the rest of your life? Didn’t your mate feel the same way about you? Even though the years can take the edge off that desire, your enjoyment in marriage is still linked to the daily level of kindness expressed.

The Bible describes a woman whose husband and children bless and praise her. Among her noble attributes are these: “She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26). How about you? How would your husband or wife describe you on the kindness meter? How harsh are you? How gentle and helpful? Do you wait to be asked, or do you take the initiative to help? Don’t wait for your spouse to be kind first.

It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness.

Today's Dare

IN ADDITION TO SAYING NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN TODAY, DO AT LEAST ONE UNEXPECTED GESTURE AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS.

(In your Love Dare Journal or a notebook) What discoveries about love did you make today? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?

What is desirable in a man is his kindness. Proverbs 19:22

Thursday, February 24, 2011

LOVE DARE


As most of you know, Joe and I began LOVE DARE class. Our first class was last night at First Baptist Church. For those of you who can't attend class or if you want to follow us on our LOVE DARE JOURNEY , I'll be blogging on Thurdays from our Wednesday night LOVE DARE classes. I'll not be discussing anyone from the class as we vowed to confidentialty in our room. What personal experiences are shared in Love Dare class stay in Love Dare class! Each day at the end of my blog, you'll see "Our Love Dare" where I will talk about the LOVE DARE CHALLENGE for each day. Stay tuned for that everyday!

Yesterday evening we talked about where our life priorities lie. Talk about eye opening when you have to rate where your priorities lie in day to day life! Where do your prioroties lie on our list...rate yourself...

JOB
HOBBY
RETIREMENT
SPOUSE
CHILREN
CHURCH
FRIENDS
STATUS/WEALTH

We also discussed how easy it is to be happy when your marriage/relationship is going smoothly versus how easy it is to be ready to throw in the towel when it gets hard. When you take your vows to your spouse and God...they are for keeps. Here a clip we watched from Fireproof...it speaks volumes! Listen closely, there is a leason for all of us!


Just because your heart leads you to something does that make it right? Today our world is all about pleasure...not all pleasures are good. People are so easy to just give up on their marriage/relationship when the going gets hard for something or someone else who makes their heart feel better at the time. If you lead your heart and make things work with your spouse, keeping GOD in your marriage, you will have a spouse who becomes your treasure, your best friend. You can't just go through the motions in your marriage/relationship; you have to lead your heart. Fireproof Clip Time...


I challenge you to purchase the LOVE DARE book, sold at Walmart or any book store and do the dare along with us. This week our "homework" is to read days 1-5 (one a day) in our Love Dare Book and do the daily dares. Somedays you don't have the ablitity to do the dare and that is ok. Feel free to come back and do it later!

Here is the intro to the LOVE DARE Journal:

The Scriptures say that God designed and created marriage as a good thing. It is a beautiful, priceless gift. He uses marriage to help us eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy. But beyond this, marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner. If we are teachable, we will learn to do the one thing that is most important in marriage—to love. This powerful union provides the path for you to learn how to love another imperfect person unconditionally. It is wonderful. It is difficult. It is life changing.
This book is about love. It’s about learning and daring to live a life filled with loving relationships. And this journey begins with the person who is closest to you: your spouse. May God bless you as you begin this adventure.
But be sure of this: it will take courage. If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says that “the heart is more deceitful than all else” (Jeremiah 17:9), and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment.
We dare you to think differently—choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.
The Love Dare journey is not a process of trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be. You’ve no doubt already discovered that efforts to change your husband or wife have ended in failure and frustration. Rather, this is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even when your desire is dry and your motives are low. The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, and transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better.
Each day of this journey will contain three very important elements:
First, a unique aspect of love will be discussed. Read each of these carefully and be open to a new understanding of what it means to genuinely love someone.
Second, you will be given a specific dare to do for your spouse. Some will be easy and some very challenging. But take each dare seriously, and be creative and courageous enough to attempt it. Don’t be discouraged if outside situations prevent you from accomplishing a specific dare. Just pick back up as soon as you can and proceed with the journey.
Last, you will be given journal space to log what you are learning and doing and how your spouse is responding. It is important that you take advantage of this space to capture what is happening to both you and your mate along the way. These notes will record your progress and should become priceless to you in the future.
Remember, you have the responsiblity to protect and guide your heart. Don't give up and don't get discouraged. Resolve to lead your heart and to make it through to the end. Learning to truly love is one of the most important things you will ever do.


NOW OF THESE THREE REMAIN:
FAITH HOPE AND LOVE.
BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE
1 Corinthians 13:13




IF I SPEAK WITH THE TONGUES OF MEN AND OF ANGELS, BUT DO NOT HAVE LOVE, I HAVE BECOME A NOISY GONG OR A CLANGING CYMBAL.

IF I HAVE THE GIFT OF PROPHECY, AND KNOW ALL MYSTERIES AND ALL KNOWLEDGE; AND IF I HAVE ALL FAITH, SO AS TO REMOVE MOUNTAINS, BUT DO NOT HAVE LOVE, I AM NOTHING.

AND IF I GIVE ALL MY POSSESSIONS TO FEED THE POOR, AND IF I SURRENDER MY BODY TO BE BURNED, BUT DO NOT HAVE LOVE, IT PROFITS ME NOTHING.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3

DAY 1

LOVE IS PATIENT


Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. - Epheisans 4:2

Love works. It is life’s most powerful motivator and has far greater depth and meaning than most people realize. It always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems. We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Our hearts desperately need it like our lungs need oxygen. Love changes our motivation for living. Relationships become meaningful with it. No marriage is successful without it.

Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes. And that’s where your dare will begin. With patience.

Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.

No one likes to be around an impatient person. It causes you to overreact in angry, foolish, and regrettable ways. The irony of anger toward a wrongful action is that it spawns new wrongs of its own. Anger almost never makes things better. In fact, it usually generates additional problems. But patience stops problems in their tracks. More than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It stops foolishness from whipping its scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil.

If your spouse offends you, do you quickly retaliate, or do you stay under control? Do you find that anger is your emotional default when treated unfairly? If so, you are spreading poison rather than medicine.

Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. You don’t get what you want and you start heating up inside. It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness, or evil motives.

Patience, however, makes us wise. It doesn’t rush to judgment but listens to what the other person is saying. Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgment. The Bible says, “He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly” (Proverbs 14:29).

As sure as a lack of patience will turn your home into a war zone, the practice of patience will foster peace and quiet. “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute” (Proverbs 15:18). Statements like these from the Bible book of Proverbs are clear principles with timeless relevance. Patience is where love meets wisdom. And every marriage needs that combination to stay healthy.

Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure.

But can your spouse count on having a patient wife or husband to deal with? Can she know that locking her keys in the car will be met by your understanding rather than a demeaning lecture that makes her feel like a child? Can he know that cheering during the last seconds of a football game won’t invite a loud-mouthed laundry list of ways he should be spending his time? It turns out that few people are as hard to live with as an impatient person.

What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach: “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another” (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

Few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it naturally. But wise men and women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationships. That’s a good starting point to demonstrate true love.

This Love Dare journey is a process, and the first thing you must resolve to possess is patience. Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint. But it’s a race worth running.


Today's Dare

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.

(In Your Love Dare Journal or a notebook) Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate? Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?

Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. James 1:19

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A New Routine

Tonight started our Love Dare class. I can already tell it's going to be a great experience. I am so excited about it! I am also happy to report that my boys LOVED church. We've had them in church several times but not recently. I've been trying to prepare them to go and they have been reluctant to say the least. All day today they were rebelling and saying they didn't want to go to church. Not because they don't like church but because they wouldn't be able to "see me". They are with me 24/7 so they are VERY dependent on me. I want them to have some independence and have friends besides each other. I would give ANYTHING if Joe and I had friends with children!

I was totally shocked tonight when my mom took the boys to music class and they ran right in and began to play. They didn't even care that she left. I was relieved but also sad that they hadn't wanted me. I make no sense do I? I want my boys to be independent and when they are I want them to depend on me. I think that is just part of being a mom and watching your little children grow up.

When our class was over, we went to pick up the boys. They were having an amazing time!! Their class had 18 other children in there! Talking about meeting new friends! They were in their element: play-doh, crayons, bowling, music, snacks....heaven for 3 and 4 year old boys! When we told them we were leaving, Caden broke down in sobs. He wanted so badly to stay and play. I am simply over the moon that they all LOVED church so much! Joe and I are finally in a place where we can get to church on Sunday's and Wednesday evenings. I am grateful for that and looking forward to seeing God work in my marriage and in our life as a family.

And again, if anyone is still interested in Love Dare it's not too late! We are only 3 couples strong so there is plenty of room for more!!!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Mommy Needs A Time Out

I don't have much to talk about tonight. I am in a pretty crappy mood and just brain dead right now. It's been a LOOOOOONG day. I didn't get but about 4-5 hours of sleep and that was interrupted as well. The boys have been fighting pretty much non stop all day today and it has honestly about done me in. They have more than enough toys and they fight over things like plastic clothes pins. I just don't get it. Even in NaNa's car on the way to walmart, at walmart and back home from walmart they about drove one another nuts picking on each other. My mom and I weren't far behind. Thankfully I got them down for naps this afternoon. The twins took LOOONG naps but not Caden. At age 3 he is still not an all night sleeper and rarely a nap taker. It can become a bit taxing to say the least.



As if today wasn't bad enough, Joe who gets off work at 5:30 and usually walks in the door around 6:15.....well today, he got off work at 7pm and walked in the door after 7:30. I was about to pull my hair out when he walked in. Fighting the kids, trying to clean up and keep dinner warm, the kids fighting each other..it was neverending tonight!


Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful I am and have gotten to be a stay at home mom but there are moments when I miss my career. I miss adult conversations and interactions. I miss having the money a second income brings. I miss being able to go shop...for myself not for groceries. I miss having money to get my hair done or my nails done or to go tan. I wish I could afford a gym membership. But these are sacrifices I have made to be at home with my boys and I will continue to do so because I love them. I miss having friends who understand what I am going through being a mommy. I don't have many true friends and most of my true friends aren't mommies yet. Worse than anything for me is the stress of being in the house with the boys somedays for days on end. It's depressing...HONESTLY! We get tired of these walls and the boys get tired of each other. All the friends they have are one another. We have no "couples" friends who have children to play with our children. I so wish we did. What a new joy that would bring. All that being said, I know one day my kids will be grown and I'll look back and miss these days...I KNOW I WILL! I think I am normal to miss working and to crave friendships. But I LOVE my kids and even on days like today I wouldn't trade being here with them for the world.



It's now 10pm and we are fighting to try and get the boys to cooperate to get ready for bed. They are very irritable as is mommy. Be so glad to get some peace and quiet tonight. I have a feeling I will be staying up a while even when Joe goes to bed just to have some mommy time. I truly need a time out and need to relax.


PS....Honey if you are reading this....I need to go somewhere like this in the VERY near future!!! Hint Hint

Monday, February 21, 2011

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS...READ THE DIRECTIONS...

I was so sad to see my weekend come to an end. I can't remember the last time we had such a special weekend as a family. Having the warm weather and sunshine on Saturday was a HUGE bonus!! Even the dreary day yesterday didn't dampen our spirits. We just made a pillow/mattress fort in the hallway!


Joe and I were more like the "old" us then we had been in YEARS. It felt so great to feel so happy and see such positive changes in the both of us. It goes to show you what FAITH, HOPE & LOVE can accomplish in your marriage if you just put in a little elbow grease!


All weddings are happy. It is the living together afterwards which causes all the trouble. Even if a marriage is made in heaven, we are responsible to maintain it and that's not an easy task for anyone! But if we follow the building blocks of "Faith, Hope and Love" they can help guide us.


I have been thinking lately "What are we going to do to get back on track?", "How can we make this marriage work?". Then it came to me: When all else fails, read the directions. I needed to pick up my Bible and see what God says about building a marriage which will work as He intended. I knew that if we are to make our marriage work, we needed to listen to what God has to say. I prayed that the Lord would help us do that.


The basic instructions that the Lord gives us are what I found in Ephesians 5:22,25. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. A marriage will not work the way God intends unless each spouse obeys God's command. In football a pass is complete when the quarterback throws the ball and the receiver catches it. That is the only way the play works. For a marriage to work, it requires a team effort.


A marriage will not thrive and may not even survive if only one spouse obeys God. Both partners should seek to follow His instructions. That is what Joe and I have rededicated ourselves doing now. It is clear that over the years we have not put GOD as the #1 in our marriage as we did in the beginning. Our lives became consumed with "life after kids". By that I mean my high risk pregnancy and hospitalization into the twins being born 3 months premature and staying in the hospital then they came home and were on machines and needed constant round the clock care into becoming pregnant with Caden and so on and so on. We became overwhelmed in our new life as parents which caused us to put GOD on the back burner. We didn't know how to balance it all. It's past due for us to be one with GOD again and for us to make him the #1 not only in our lives but the lives of our Children. I was raised in church, spent every Sunday and Wednesday evening at my church. I was in Sunday school, Vacation Bible School, plays, live nativities, sang in church on a routine basis, youth groups...you name it I was involved in it at church. I want that for my children as well. GOD wants that for them too. The Bible says: Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.(Proverbs 22:6)


I am so very blessed that I was raised by parents who saw the importance of raising their family in church. That have been married 38 years this July and haven't thrown in the towel when times got hard but looked to GOD to pull them through. Even though they are my parents, they are a couple that Joe and I look to for encouragement and inspiration in our own marriage. They are great Christian marriage role models. I am so excited to learn from them beginning this Wednesday when Love Dare begins!


Friends, in a world where a lot of marriages simply don't work, GOD used Paul to lay out a blueprint which will enable us to find success. It is not an easy plan, but it is simple. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord and, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. If you find a couple where both partners are consistently doing that, you will find a marriage that works, a marriage that brings joy to each spouse, a marriage that begins to fulfill the deepest needs of each partner, a marriage that blesses other people, and a marriage that brings honor to God. What more could you ever want or need in your marriage, in your family?



So dear friends...remember...

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE DIRECTIONS!!!