TIME FOR A CHANGE!

Today as I chatted with an old acquaintance from high school on facebook, it occurred to me how my perceptions of various people, places, likes and dislikes and even my perceptions of myself have changed over the years. This "acquaintance" was a girl whom I didn't know well. We both had a crush on the same boy who jumped back and forth from us like a frog in a pond full of lilly pads. Naturally being 14-16 years old I blamed her. THE CRUSH COULD NEVER DO WRONG! (There is a jacked up perception there!). However, I NEVER got to know the REAL her. Many others who knew us both told me numerous times how alike we were but I had already formed a certain perception of her in my mind. Now being 32 and having connected with her on facebook, I am beginning to learn much more about her and finding we are in fact A LOT alike in MANY ways. That has led me to thinking about my perceptions in general. What else have I missed out on in my life because of the wrong perception of something or someone?

For example: Imagine being on a plane. Before the plane takes off and you are sitting on the runway (hopefully going someplace warm), your perception is limited. You can only see a few people, maybe a few buildings and other planes.
As the plane begins to ascend you can begin to see more. Such as planes, buildings, roads and maybe places you didn't even know existed. As the plane reaches the clouds, you can see an even bigger picture.
The area didn't change. Nothing changed EXCEPT your attitude and view. You were able to see a better view of what the area looked like.

How VERY true is this in our own day to day lives? We've all been taught to look at life from ground level. This is a narrow, shallow and limited viewpoint. This shallow perception and so much lack of knowledge can easily cause us to not reach our God-given potential in each and every area of our lives. We are making decisions for our life based on a limited perception of things.

**It is possibly causing your health to be less than perfect.
**It is possibly causing your peace and happiness to be limited.
**It is possibly causing your income to be inadequate or less than you would like it to be.
**It is possibly causing you to be in a job or career that isn't your calling/niche, that you don't have passion for, and can't put your heart and soul into.
**It is possibly causing the amount of free time that you have to be limited.
**It is possibly causing your marriage and or relationship to be less than the best.
**It is possibly causing your parenting skills to be lacking and raising your kids to be challenging and stressful.

I will admit that I fit several of the above categories. I've had my perceptions all wrong on people, places, foods, so many things in my life. I've been partially blind because I have been looking at my life so literal...from the ground view. Seeing the glass half empty not half full. My life isn't just what you see, there is so much more out there than what meets the eye. Why have I never realized that before?

God has created this beautiful amazing world and given me this amazing ability to life a life HE created and here I am looking at it through rose colored glasses!



Today I am going to begin to make a more conscious effort to see the BIG PICTURE. To change my limited perceptions of things in my life. To make the MOST of each day and each friendship. I can only imagine how much more fulfilling life will be when you look at it so differently!

How many of you need to change your perceptions? How many of you need to see the world from the clouds not just at ground level?



DAY 4

LOVE IS THOUGHTFUL

How precious also are Your thoughts to me... How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. Psalm 139:17-18

Love thinks. It’s not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotion and falls asleep mentally. It keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.

When you first fell in love, being thoughtful came quite naturally. You spent hours dreaming of what your loved one looked like, wondering what he or she was doing, rehearsing impressive things to say, then enjoying sweet memories of the time you spent together. You honestly confessed, “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

But for most couples, things begin to change after marriage. The wife finally has her man; the husband has his trophy. The hunt is over and the pursuing done. Sparks of romance slowly burn into grey embers, and the motivation for thoughtfulness cools. You drift into focusing on your job, your friends, your problems, your personal desires, yourself. After a while, you unintentionally begin to ignore the needs of your mate.

But the fact that marriage has added another person to your universe does not change. Therefore, if your thinking doesn’t mature enough to constantly include this person, you catch yourself being surprised rather than being thoughtful.

“Today’s our anniversary?”

“Why didn’t you include me in that decision?”

“Don’t you ever think about anyone but yourself?”

If you don’t learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.

Let’s be honest. Men struggle with thoughtfulness more than women. A man can focus like a laser on one thing and forget the rest of the world. Whereas this can benefit him in that one arena, it can make him overlook other things that need his attention.

A woman, on the other hand, is more multi-conscious, able to maintain an amazing awareness of many factors at once. She can talk on the phone, cook, know where the kids are in the house, and wonder why her husband isn’t helping . . . all simultaneously. Adding to this, a woman also thinks relationally. When she works on something, she is cognizant of all the people who are somehow connected to it.

Both of these tendencies are examples of how God designed women to complete their men. As God said at creation, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). But these differences also create opportunities for misunderstanding.

Men, for example, tend to think in headlines and say exactly what they mean. Not much is needed to understand the message. His words are more literal and shouldn’t be over analyzed. But women think and speak between the lines. They tend to hint. A man often has to listen for what is implied if he wants to get the full meaning.

If a couple doesn’t understand this about one another, the fallout can result in endless disagreements. He’s frustrated wondering why she speaks in riddles and doesn’t just come out and say things. She’s frustrated wondering why he’s so inconsiderate and doesn’t add two and two together and just figure it out.

A woman deeply longs for her husband to be thoughtful. It is a key to helping her feel loved. When she speaks, a wise man will listen like a detective to discover the unspoken needs and desires her words imply. If, however, she always has to put the pieces together for him, it steals the opportunity for him to demonstrate that he loves her.

This also explains why women will get upset with their husbands without telling them why. In her mind she’s thinking, “I shouldn’t have to spell it out for him. He should be able to look at the situation and see what’s going on here.” At the same time, he’s grieved because he can’t read her mind and wonders why he’s being punished for a crime he didn’t know he committed.

Love requires thoughtfulness—on both sides—the kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of patience, kindness, and selflessness. Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks.

A husband should listen to his wife and learn to be considerate of her unspoken messages. A wife should learn to communicate truthfully and not say one thing while meaning another.

But too often you become angry and frustrated instead, following the destructive pattern of “ready, shoot, aim.” You speak harshly now and determine later if you should have said it. But the thoughtful nature of love teaches you to engage your mind before engaging your lips. Love thinks before speaking. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.

When was the last time you spent a few minutes thinking about how you could better understand and demonstrate love to your spouse? What immediate need can you meet? What’s the next event (anniversary, birthday, holiday) you could be preparing for? Great marriages come from great thinking.

TODAY'S DARE

CONTACT YOUR SPOUSE SOMETIME DURING THE BUSINESS OF THE DAY. HAVE NO AGENDA OTHER THAN ASKING HOW HE OR SHE IS DOING AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU COULD DO FOR THEM.

(In your Love Dare Journal or notebook) What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today? How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?