I had been a newlywed since November of 2005. I had been to many doctor's appointments and taken several medications to help me get pregnant since that time. I know that 5 months doesn't seem long to most but when you are struggling to get pregnant, it's a lifetime! I hadn't been feeling up to par. I was dizzy all the time. EXTREMELY tired...I was literally sleeping 15-18 hours A DAY! I chalked it up to the medications I was on. A few days prior I took a pregnancy test and it said negative. For some reason this particular morning, I awoke and kept thinking...."I should take that other test and just see what it says." So I did. As I sat in the bathroom early in the morning, my husband already done to work, my best friend sleeping in the next room, I watched that stick and prayed to GOD that he PLEASE answer mine and my husband's prayer of starting a family. I prayed so hard. I opened my eyes and saw this.....
June 27, 2006
FINALLY got to hear that precious sound...my baby's heartbeat. There is NOTHING like that magical moment of hearing your unborn child's heartbeat for the first time!
August 18, 2006
ULTRASOUND DAY! I took an insane amount of people with me on this big day.......my parents, my brother and his g/f, my grandparents, my aunt....we filled our own waiting room! Everyone was anxious to know what the baby would be. I had asked my dad to come in the room with Joe and I so that he would be one of the first to know. Mom was going to be with me during the delivery so I wanted my dad to have a special moment too. He was honored.
The u/s started off like any other. The cold goop, the little u/s wand on your belly being moved around. Anxiously awaiting to see the first sign of your baby on that screen. The ultrasound tech was sitting there looking for the baby and just as calm and nonchalant as I have ever heard says "Oh, there are 2 babies in here." Joe and I must have been stunned because we said nothing. Dad on the other hand "WHAT!?". I could not believe it....TWINS! Next we waited while she checked Baby A (twins are Baby A and Baby B...I learned that right away and later on the hard way). Baby A was a healthy sweet baby BOY! Joe and I had already decided on a boy name so BABY A became Landon Joseph Hardin...right then and there. Then it was on to Baby B. Another healthy, sweet baby BOY! TWIN BOYS! This baby's name was going to be put on hold since twins was totally unexpected!
I had told my family that I would come out in the waiting room after the ultrasound and instead of saying it's a boy or it's a girl, I was going to tell them the names we had picked out for either sex. We hadn't planned on twins! I went out in the waiting room at everyone's anxious faces and said "It's Landon and Landon! Everyone went CRAZY. I am surprised we didn't get kicked out of the doctor's office we were so loud! I was still so shocked yet so happy to know we were having twin boys!
Baby B
Landon Joseph Hardin (Baby A)
Sibling rivalry starts early....Landon kicking his poor twin brother in the head!
Sadly, my elation was cut short. I had to have a vaginal ultrasound and the same tech that was so nonchalant when she informed me I was having twins, was just as nonchalant when she says "This doesn't look good" while looking at my cervix. My joy turned to pure fear. She didn't say anything else except for me to get dressed and wait for the doctor. I sat in a room, fearing the unknown, for nearly an hour. My family was still there, except my dad who went back to work. They sat out in the waiting room talking, planning and being full of joy. Totally unaware that in the next room something was terribly wrong.
The doctor finally came in and after her exam she told Joe and I that my cervix was already dilating. She was going to send me over to the hospital to be monitored and checked for any contractions. Although I wasn't feeling any, they could still be there. If things didn't improve I would be having surgery the next day. I was totally terrified. The look on the faces of my family as I was wheeled out of the room in a wheelchair is one I will never forget. It was like a movie. Everyone laughing, celebrating, planning. Then you get wheeled out unexpectedly and the conversations all stop and the smiles are gone in the snap of a finger.
I was admitted and hooked up to machines and watched and poked and prodded all night. I was still so scared. I prayed and prayed and prayed that things improve and that my babies be ok. The one good thing was that we decided on a name for Baby B....Andrew Thomas Hardin. PERFECT! Now one baby was named after daddy and one baby after my dad and brother.
The next morning I did require surgery. They went in and put a stitch in my cervix called a cerclage. It keeps the cervix from dilating and opening. After surgery, I had an INSANE panic attack. It even scared my doctor. Joe was my rock during all of that. He was scared to death but I never knew it. Surgery was a success.
The next hurdle.....20 weeks of bed rest. I could only get up to use the restroom and a short shower every other day. As bad as it sounded.....as bad as I knew it would be.....I was willing to do whatever it took to get my baby boys into this world safe and sound. I would do anything in my power.
Sept 10, 2006
During the night I began to have contractions. By late afternoon the next day...they were REALLY painful. To the hospital we went. I was put on medication and sent home. The contractions continued all night and the next morning, more symptoms occurred that assured me something was wrong. Upon seeing my MD, I was again hospitalized and this time I wasn't even allowed to get up to use the restroom. I learned then that I HATED bed pans!
What ensued was a week of fear, increased signs of early labor, insanely bad news to the point a neonatal physician told me that my twins would probably not survive and if they did they would be blind, deaf, disfigured or worse. What is worse than all of that? I had never been more terrified in my life. Every day was a battle but it was in fact another day the babies were still in my belly growing and getting stronger. The outlook was I was getting from my doctors and the hospital staff was grim but I REFUSED to give up. I REFUSED to believe that this pregnancy was not a miracle to me. I wasn't about to give up hope. I had fought too hard to get here!
Sept 17, 2006
Still in the hospital. Been a roller coaster of ups and downs. The boys are kicking forcefully now. It's like they are letting me know they are fighters! Joe was able to feel them kick for the first time. They are so active. It assures me that at least in my mind, it's all going to work out.....somehow! I know GOD is here with us. I know HE is working to make this all work out and to save my baby boys.
Sept 18, 2006
Symptoms took a turn for the worse. It got so bad that I had 2 nurses working on me at the same time. I was hooked to numerous IV lines with medications that caused me to be sick, hot, dizzy and then some. They brought in floor fans because I got so hot. My MD was working to get me transferred downtown because she was sure the twins would be born today. Again, the fear set in. I knew the outlook was terrible if they were born this early! I was finally transferred by EMS to Norton's downtown. I was scared but somehow felt some weird calm come over me once I was in my new room. The nurses were AMAZING. My new doctor.....I swear the man had a halo. He was an amazing doctor! HE WAS POSITIVE! He came in the room once the nurses had me settled in. He sat on the side of the bed and took both my hands in his and looked me square in the eye and said "You are going to be fine. Your babies are going to be fine. You are NOT having those baby boys anytime soon".
Friends, I can not tell you the relief I felt. FINALLY SOMEONE WAS BEING POSITIVE. FINALLY SOMEONE WAS SEEING THINGS THE WAY I WAS TRYING TO SEE THEM.
I knew then that my babies WERE going to be ok. I knew it more than ever before.
I don't think I will EVER be able to thank Dr. Marcello Pietrantoni (Dr. P as his patients call him) enough for saving my babies and for giving a nearly defeated pregnant woman hope!
The following days and weeks drug on. I remained at Nortons in the anti-partum unit. For mom's who haven't had babies yet. I remember being relieved that we weren't right by the post partum unit where all the moms were glowing after having babies. That would have been hard to handle. Esp for the moms in my unit who weren't fortunate to ever hold their baby.
I LOVED my nurses in the unit. They were caring and loving. They would come in and sit and talk to me or bring me little goodies. My doctor was amazing and funny and always hopeful. Things were looking up. Even being in the hospital for weeks wasn't horrible. Although still on bed rest for the most part, Dr. P would let me walk around the halls some too. I had an ultrasound every week which was fun. I got to see my baby boys grow each and every week. I could however, done with out being diagnosed with gestational diabetes! That was HORRIBLE! I felt so hungry all the time and the diet I was on was just dreadful! A bird ate more food than I was allowed to have! I spent hours crying out of sheer hunger. What I did eat the boys consumed so I felt starving all the time. That was the worst ever!
October 5, 2006
I WAS DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL! Granted it was 11pm but getting out of there was WONDERFUL! I was so happy to be going back home! I hadn't seen my home since Sept 10! A full month ago!
Sadly, being at home wasn't all it was cracked up to be since I was on bed rest. I didn't have the nurses to help take care of me or to keep me company. Joe had to work and he would leave as much snack and water by the bed as he could but if I needed something it had to wait until he got home at dinner. Dinner which I couldn't even cook and could hardly eat. I got so down and so lonely. It was a hard time for me for sure!
Oct 17, 2006
Contractions started today but they weren't too bad. The doctor wasn't concerned at this point. I had spent 5 hours in his office yesterday sitting in an uncomfortable chair waiting for my appointment so I am sure that didn't help things.
It was a long night as I had to pee every 30 minutes. I couldn't get comfortable in bed. The contractions were not going away and even seemed to be getting worse little by little.
Fear and dread were starting to creep back into my mind as well.
Oct 18, 2006
Contractions were really bad all day to the point I called Joe to come home from work. The doctor had us come back to Nortons. On the way there I was having terrible contractions 3-5 minutes apart. I was in too much pain to be scared at this point! I was admitted and in severe pain the entire night. My back was horrifically (is that even a word?) painful all night. I felt like I had to pee but I couldn't go even when I tried.
October 19 2006
My twin baby boys were born at 10:39am (Landon) and 10:45am (Andrew). They weighed 2 pounds 12 ounces and 2 pounds 15 ounces. I didn't get to hold them after they were delivered and I didn't even get to lay eyes on Andrew as he was having a horrible time trying to breath. They were whisked off to the NICU. I had to wait 8 hours to see them actually. Thankfully the NICU nurses at Kosair took pictures and brought them to me. My miracles were here! My life was forever changed in so many ways. All of the pain and agony to get them here had paid off. GOD was right by my side and I knew he had heard my prayers and kept my babies safe. We made it to 28 weeks, that was our one main goal. All the odds stacked against a premature delivery go down significantly at 28 weeks! We had done it!
I knew the road ahead was long and full of unknown. I knew NOTHING about preemies and a NICU But what I did know was that I had 2 beautiful baby boys who I would do anything for and who I loved with a love I had never known before.
Andrew Thomas Hardin @ birth
Landon Joseph Hardin 9 hours old - mommy holding him the first time
Landon sucking his thumb, 9 hours old
Landon 6 days old (Kosair NICU)
Andrew 6 days old (Kosair NICU)
Landon looks tiny just being beside mommy's fingers
Landon had Andrew's back from the very beginning. This was the first time I had held Andrew and I got to hold them together. It was also the first time the boys had been together since they were born. I know they had missed each other.
Andrew in his little condo (as we called it). Every time they put him on his back he was wide awake!
Andrew's Condo
Andrew being soothed holding mommy's finger
Landon's turn
Teeny Tiny Perfect Toes
Tiny yet strong
Me and Joe holding our baby boys in the NICU. They were about a month old here.
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