Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I'm Back!

It's been quite some time since I have posted on my blog.  Life got so busy that I just didn't have the time or energy.  We've been making some great memories on the farm, kids are busy in preschool and kindergarten and we've spent some great time with our family. 

I would like to ask for prayers for my family. We found out yesterday afternoon that Joe is deploying mid December...we were blindsided. He will be doing border control at the Mexican border in either Texas or Arizona. This will be our first Christmas apart. He will not return until sometime after the end of May. They have not given an exact time of return but said it will be no sooner than the end of May. Naturally we are devastated...esp after he was gone to Iraq all of 2010.
The boys took 2 years to re-adjust after his deployment to Iraq. Things were finally back to normal and now he is leaving again. The boys are older now so it will be significantly harder for them this time. I think Andrew will have a much harder time than Caden and Landon simply because he is very sensitive and EXTREMELY close to his daddy. I truly am worried about how they will handle another deployment. My heart breaks for them.
Psalm 32:7 You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.
Psalm 36:7 How precious is Your loving kindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
I am trying to be strong and when I have had the tears begin I run and hide in the bathroom. I don't want the boys to see me upset. I cried a tremendous amount yesterday after I got the news so if there are typos I apologize..my eyes are red and swollen this morning. Not having Joe here for over 6 months will be so hard. He is my best friend not just my husband. We do so much around here as a team and now it will just be me. I already know how hard it is to be the only one taking care of house and home, how lonely it gets and how slow time goes by. Having been through this before doesn't help because I now know what to expect. Right now I am on a rollercoaster of emotions: anger, sadness, fear, worry, doubt, ect. At times I feel numb and at other times I cry so hard I get sick. I KNOW that we will overcome and that we will get through this but it feels so far away before he will return home to us. I will rely on friends, family and faith. I have no doubts in my Lord and Savior and I know that HE will see us through just like before.
Isaiah 40:28-31Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Joe is handling things ok. He has his army face on as he is trained to do. Even if he is upset (which I am sure he is) he would never let me see it. He tries so hard to shelter and protect me and I love him for it. I am so proud of him for serving the way he does. I get to stay home with the kids...he has to leave and miss 6 months of their lives or a year like before. He has it the worst. Missing things is hurtful. He won't be here for Christmas (so we are having it early so he can be with us), the twins, our first babies, will be graduating kindergarten...their daddy won't be here. Caden will turn 5 in February...his daddy won't be here. So much happens in 6 months and Joe will miss it all.....that alone breaks my heart. After this deployment he will have spent 15 months plus away from me and the boys. It's heartwrenching. But I know GOD has a plan. Good things came from Joe's deployment to Iraq and I have no doubt good things will come from this deployment as well.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your path.”
Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”
I just wanted to let you know what was going on and ask for your prayers to watch over Joe while he is away (border control is risky) and strength for me to take care of kids and house and all things inbetween and prayers for our boys to adjust ok to this deployment. It's going to be a hard 6 months for the Hardin family.
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I am going to try my best to get back to blogging so that Joe can keep up with how we are and what we are up to while he is away. It's also a great way to vent and express myself.  Thanks to everyone for the love and support and encouragement I have been shown already!  It means more than words could express.


No comments:

Post a Comment