JOY AND SORROW

As you know, we are in the process of home buying for the VERY first time.
Life in the Hardin household has been NOTHING short of chaos the last week or so.
I am happy to report that we are UNDER CONTRACT on our new home and as excited and happy as I am about that, I don't think I will be able to breath until closing is over and we have keys in hand. I NEVER realized how stressful and scary this process is! We just keep praying that it all works out. As our lender said, nothing is ever solid until after closing. That's sad but true. So we are praying and crossing all fingers and toes that all this works out and we get our new home that we already love so much!


I haven't had any time to blog until today and so much has happened just in the last 3 or 4 days I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll do a quick run down of the past week.
Fasten your seatbelts.....

Before I get in to last week....I must share my excitement about my mom's test results. Mom had some abnormal blood work results over 2 weeks ago and the MD was worried about her kidneys. Being that mom is diabetic this was even more scary! Mom went through extensive tests, changes in medications and a strict diet. She was scared and overwhelmed to say the least. Last Friday mom had an MRI done on her kidneys and Monday we received the news that THE RESULTS OF HER KIDNEYS WAS NORMAL! THEY LOOK GREAT AND HEALTHY!!! Our prayers were answered!!! GOD IS SUCH AN AWESOME GOD! I can't tell you how relieved I am that my mom is ok! She is my best friend!! I was trying to stay positive throughout but you can't help feel nervous deep inside! What a GREAT relief and blessing that she is out of the woods!



EVERY day last week I spent 12-14 hours each day cleaning out rooms in our house and boxing up junk for our yardsale. I am not even exaggerating folks. It is insane how much stuff one family can have! Joe and I put ALL the toys in the family room on evening so we could sort through it. Well, all I have to say is that I was embarrassed to no end at how many toys they have! It was totally overwhelming! We probably put 75-80% or more in the yardsale. NOTE TO EVERYONE: NO MORE TOYS OR BOOKS FOR MY BOYS!!!! Sadly, most of the toys they had were rarely ever played with. If it's not a hot wheels or tractor or train....


Friday evening was spent taking van and truck loads to my grandparent's house in Finchville of all of our yard sale stuff. This took several hours AND several trips. Having worked so hard all week and now moving it all....I was just about to my limit.

Saturday I was up at 5am to head to Finchville and set up for the yard sale. Everything had to be set out on tables and clothes hung on lines. When I get to Finchville and start to set things up.....it starts to rain. We had just watched the news and no sign of rain until later in the day. Shows what they know! It rained for almost 2 staight hours!!! I was near tears....I had worked insanely hard to get this yardsale going AND we desparately needed the money...any money for that matter. (Buying a home costs a fortune by the way...and gas prices don't help ANYTHING!) FINALLY there was a break in the rain and we had a good lot of people stop by and BUY! BUY! BUY! So was the course of the day. Rain, sale, rain, sale. At the end we did end up making over $100 which wasn't too shabby and was MUCH needed! We closed up shop around 2pm and headed back home. We all had to get bathed and dressed in our Sunday best to go to our nephew's wedding in Lexington. All I really wanted to do was shower, get in comfy PJs and crawl into bed! However, being the amazing aunt-in-law I am, I headed to Lexington instead. Jake is one of my faves and I wasn't gonna miss his BIG day. And let me tell you...this wedding did NOT disappoint! It was gorgeous!!! (OK so the open bar was pretty great too!) It was a gorgeous venue (The Carrick House) and it went perfectly. Even the rain let off till later! Here are some pictures:




















Joe and his dad with all but 2 of Joe's sibblings.








It was nearly midnight when we got home but it was so worth it! The wedding was beautiful and fun! Our 3 little boys danced the night away and enjoyed every second! They even learned the Cha Cha Slide! Even Joe's 86 year old Gran got up and did the twist! It was truly classic! I am quite jealous of the happy couple who are currently in St. Lucia! They are a wonderful couple and I wish them nothing but love and happiness!


Sadly, on the way home I received a call from my mom that my dad's beloved hunting dog, Montana, had suffered a stroke. He was only 6 years old. My dad was having a horrible time and spent much of Saturday night making Montana as comfortable as he could. On Sunday morning my dad had to take him to be euthanized because he was getting worse and there was nothing they could do. It has been very hard on all of us but nothing like the pain my dad is feeling. They were the best of buds. It was truly heartbreaking. Montana was a GREAT dog and we all LOVED him. It's a hard loss for the whole family. Aaron went with my dad to the VET to put him down and helped dad bury him in the back yard alongside our beagle Samantha and dad's other bird dog Copper. It's so hard to loose a pet...they truly become like family. Montana was dad's very best friend and huntin' buddy. It's so sad he had to have a stroke at such a young age too. He was the picture of health and strength. We had no idea this was going to happen. Totally unexpected. Even now I can't type about sweet Montana with his precious face without crying. The funny way he would act like a seal and use his nose to throw balls up in the air so he could catch them and chase them. He would get so excited to see us and especially my dad. And boy did Montana love to run and hunt. It just won't be the same without that sweet boy.

RIP SHOTGUN MONTANA JACK....WE LOVE YA BOY AND WE'LL MISS YOU!

GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED

I envy Kevin.
My friend told me about his brother Kevin.
Kevin thinks God lives under his bed.
At least that's what my friend heard Kevin say one night.

He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and my friend stopped to listen, 'Are you there, God?' he said. 'Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed...'

My friend giggled softly and tiptoed off to his own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement.
But after my friend told me this story, something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in.

He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult.

He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under the tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them.

I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life?
Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk the cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed.
The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child.

He does not seem dissatisfied.
He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work.
He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores.
And Saturdays-oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day his Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. 'That one's goin' to Chi-car-go! ' Kevin shouts as he claps his hands.
His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.

And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips.
He doesn't know what it means to be discontent.
His life is simple.
He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be.
His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it.
He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax.
He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others.
His heart is pure.
He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue.
Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry.
He is always transparent, always sincere.
And he trusts God.

Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an 'educated' person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion.
In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith.
It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions
It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap.
I AM.
My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances - they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care.
Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.
And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed.
Kevin won't be surprised at all!

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Matthew 22:37

NEVER GIVE UP

As most of you know, Joe and I have been struggling with finding our new home. We have looked at numerous homes here in Shelby County. One of those homes we went and viewed 3 times even. We just didn't feel the urge to offer on any of them.

Then came the discussion of moving to Jefferson County to be closer to Joe's work. Although we had several good reasons to move away...I was scared. Shelbyville is home. Has been my entire life. It has become my boys' home. My family is here. My friends are here. It's my comfort zone. Being out of your comfort zone is never easy. However, I decided we could look at homes there and I could get a feel for it at the least.

That is exactly what we did. Our Derby party Saturday consisted of meeting a Louisville Realtor at 930am at house #1. We finished with house #13 at 330pm. It was a LONG day. Thankfully my mom watched the boys for the day! We saw some GORGEOUS homes. Some not so gorgeous homes. Some homes I liked. Some homes I didn't. Joe found one he especially liked. However, I didn't see either of us with that "WE FOUND THE ONE" glow. I didn't say anything to Joe yet but I wasn't sure any of the homes we found were "IT".

For the moment, I needed to think of something OTHER THAN houses!!! So...we loaded up the boys Saturday evening and headed to Frankfort. We picked up some Happy Meals for them and Qudoba for us and went for a dusk picnic at Juniper Park. Being Derby and being that it was after 7pm, we had the park to ourselves. The boys ran and played and laughed and squealed. Joe and I played with them and just enjoyed the moment. As we were preparing to head home at 8ish, the boys discovered a large hill. The rolling began! It was a hoot watching these 3 boys roll down the grassy hill just like I did as a kid. I was taken back to the feeling of being a child, so carefree...SO WORRY FREE! I was happy my boys were having such a childhood. So many children do not. The euphoria over took me so when my boys were done rolling down the hill and proceeded to play in the sand of the 2 joined volleyball courts I couldn't resist. I threw off my shoes and socks. Pulled my sweats up to my knees and ran into the sand. Chasing the boys and swinging them around. All of us laughing and totally carefree. It was a wonderful moment! I felt so HAPPY. Not that I am never happy but this was a different happy. A Content Happy! It was wonderful!!! We didn't leave until after 9pm!

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I was awaken by Joe and Landon who had gone to SIXTH AND MAIN and gotten me a caramel latte. It was so sweet! Andrew and Caden were still sawing logs! LOL
We spent the day here at home. Joe and I stressing somewhat over the houses we looked at in Louisville and discussions over schools and such. A little later I got a phone call from mom who was giving me all the reasons why we needed to stay in Shelbyville and when I shared this with Joe he began telling me all the reasons we needed to go to Louisville. Neither mom nor Joe were trying to upset me but that is what happened. I just wanted to scream. I felt like a rag doll being pulled in 2 different directions. I went outside to read and got a phone call from my parent's neighbor who is a good friend of our family. She proceeded to tell me she had found us the PERFECT house. I admit I was skeptical. I was a little over houses at the moment. I couldn't decide if I wanted to see the house. I told Joe about it and could tell he was on the fence too. I felt so overwhelmed. I actually went and sat in the bathroom just to get peace and try and clear my head. It felt like Joe and my mom were each sitting on one of my shoulders telling me why I needed to live in Shelbyville or Louisville. Finally I emerged from the bathroom and decided it wouldn't hurt to go see the house. So off we went.....

I am not sure what I was really expecting. I know I wasn't excited on the drive there. I just felt, well, blah. Indifferent even. We pulled up to the house and that suddenly changed. I sat up a little straighter in the seat and thought...NICE! For a brief moment I thought "looks can be deceiving". We had seen several houses that on the outside looked great then once inside the front door that was not the case.

The house we were now standing in front of was gorgeous. A great front porch with a SWING! Something I had wanted for as long as I could remember. The neighborhood is one of the best around...hands down! We met the owner who was there to greet us. Then we proceeded into the front door.

I WAS IN NO WAY PREPARED FOR WHAT AWAITED US!










This house was AMAZING! We spoke with the owner who was telling us all about it. She had totally renovated the ENTIRE house! It was stunning! It was what I had always wanted and dreamed about. The owner had bought the house at the beginning of a nasty divorce and rehauled it. It was her project...her baby. The thing that kept her mind busy and helped to heal her heart. As excited I was about the house my heart went out to her (the owner). She wasn't as excited. She is selling her baby. She is relocating for her fiance' and job.

Joe and I went through the house one more time and I could tell we were both sold. I got chills and even tears in my eyes going through the house this time. I could see our boys growing up here in this house. I could see us having family get togethers and celebrating holidays. I could see Joe and I growing old together here. Sitting grey haired on that front porch swing. THIS HOUSE FELT LIKE HOME! It wrapped me up in a warm embrace from the moment I entered the front door. THIS WAS IT!

We headed back outside and explained our situation with owner and told her how much we could afford and she was willing to drop the price to meet that for us and to throw in the appliances AND riding lawn mower. We were shocked!

So.....this week we finish financing and next weekend when the owner is back in town we meet to do a contract. I am full of nerves today. Nervous and excited! This is so HUGE for us and for our family. I just want the peace of mind to know that it's all gonna work out and that really will be our home. My hopes are high even though I know that is dangerous. Been there and done that! I am praying this time is different. That this becomes the new beginning we have been longing for.

It's been a long road for us. We both made bad decisions in our late teens and 20s and MAJORLY screwed up our credit. At the time having no idea who horribly that would affect our future. We moved 6 times in 8 years! We have been forced to rent. Until now! Joe going to Iraq gave us the ability to rid ourselves of ALL the debt. It has allowed us this opportunity to have our dream home. SO many times I wanted to give up and in some ways I did. But Joe....that wonderful man of mine...never gave up. He never stopped trying. He ALWAYS saw the light at the end of the tunnel even when I no longer could. I owe so much of this to him. He is proof that if you NEVER STOP BELIEVING and you NEVER GIVE UP...you can make your dreams come true. It's proof that God does things on his own time and not yours. It's proof there can be happily ever after. I am praying this is ours..........